5 Tips on Conquering Commitment Phobia

a couple on a beachSome people have a fairly easy time when it comes to relationships. On the other hand, some people find relationships to be so challenging, and as a result, they tend to suffer from commitment phobia, fear relationships or even become overly anxious.

Fear of commitment is a genuine concern that affects many people more so when they have to make a commitment such as moving in or becoming exclusive. It is a challenge that affects both men and women regardless of their age and sexual orientation.

If you have commitment issues or you’re in a relationship with a partner who is anxious about committing then either you or they are likely to sabotage a relationship that you initially thought was good or get in and out of a relationship after a short period of time. You are also likely to give up on a relationship due to insignificant issues or develop love interest very quickly and after some time lose it.

If the above characteristics describe you or your partner, don’t worry. In this article, you are going to gain insights on what causes commitment phobia and how to overcome it.

What is a Commitment Phobia?

Commitment phobia refers to the anxiety and fear that one experiences whenever he or she has to make a commitment to another person, particularly in a romantic relationship.

When you have commitment phobia, you are likely to avoid forming a long-term relationship with your boyfriend or girlfriend. However, during the initial stages of the relationship, you tend to be very happy because you are free and there is nothing that is holding you back.

There are some clear tell-tale signs that a person has a commitment phobia. Although this is more common with men, women too can also experience commitment phobia. Here are some critically important things you can do if your boyfriend has started to pull away from you.

Causes of Commitment Phobia

The causes of fear to commit vary from one person to another and they include:

  • Having failed relationships in the past or a history of a cheating partner
  • Witnessing the unsatisfactory relationship between your parents due to issues such as alcoholism, domestic violence, cheating, just to mention, but a few
  • Fear of been loved due to low self-esteem
  • You are afraid that your relationship will change once you get married
  • You fear the relationship will end and so you decide to end it to avoid going through the pain
  • Unmet childhood desires or childhood trauma

How to Overcome Your Fear of Commitment

It is normal to fear being hurt, and if you have been through situations that have contributed to this fear, you are not alone. In order to be able to make a change in your life and romantic relationships per se, it is important that you take certain steps that will help you resolve your commitment issues.

a man with his head in his hands worried about why he fears commitment

Work with a relationship therapist

The first step you would need to take is to find yourself a good relationship therapist who understands how people attach to each other, particularly in romantic relationships. The therapist will be able to help you gain insights on what could be hindering you from getting into or sustaining a steady, loving and healthy union.

Learn to face your fear of commitment

If you really want to conquer your fear of commitment, it is important that you learn to accept the idea of having to make a lifelong commitment even when it is not very clear what the future has in store for you. Additionally, it is important that you understand that you will never take that step of committing yourself if you keep waiting for a time when you will be free of doubts because that time will never come.

Learn to take risks

It is important that you get out of your comfort zone by deciding to take risks. If you are in a relationship with someone who appears to have all the qualities that you desire, it wouldn’t hurt to make a commitment to him or her. In the long run, you are likely to have a very rewarding relationship. So, you might want to take the risk of giving the relationship a chance.

Date someone with whom you have common values

In order to overcome the fear of commitment, it is important that you date someone with similar principles, values or standards. Getting into a relationship with someone whose values, standards or principles are significantly different is likely to increase your chances of divorce due to increased marital problems.

Take your time to know someone

It is important that you take your time to know someone by dating for at least one to two years. During this time period, you are able to understand the good and bad qualities of your partner, which helps to reduce chances of divorce.

Parting Thoughts

Many individuals have a desire to be in a stable, loving and healthy union, but they are not always able to find the kind of love that they want because they are always sabotaging and undermining their chances. Commitment phobia or commitment issues are a real issue, and it is possible to change.

All you need to do is to always keep in mind that it is possible to have a meaningful relationship with someone if only you stop worrying too much about the unknown. Do not miss out on a good relationship because of fear to commit.

Is He Thinking Of Breaking Up With You?

a couple arguingIf you’re in a long-term relationship, but you have this funny feeling that all is not quite right, then you may be wondering if a potential breakup is on the horizon.

Here are some signs to look out for if you suspect that a breakup is brewing.

How is the communication?

No one likes to feel this way, and probably the worst part of that is simply not knowing. Good communication in a relationship is one of the most important qualities you can nurture to have a healthy, well-grounded coupling with your partner. However, when the communication channels begin to break down, this could be a sign that a breakup could be around the corner. However, don’t fret, this is not always the case. Your boyfriend may just have a lot of things on his mind, which is causing him to be a little more distant with you. Regardless, keeping a good, steady flow of honest communication between the two of you is one of the most healthy things you can do.

If you want more tips on good techniques for healthy communication in your relationship then do, please see our article here. If you like what we have to say, please do leave us a comment int he comments box below. We always love to hear from our readers!

How is his manner towards you?

Does he seem more moody than usual with you or even rude? This can often be a sign that he is losing interest and could be feeling irritated in the relationship. If this is the case, then try not to rise to his off-hand attitude with you. Pick your moment when he is in a better mood and ask him openly and without judgement or anger about how he is feeling. Tell him that you have noticed that he is acting differently and encourage him to share with you how he is feeling. If you need some tips on how to handle rudeness from your boyfriend then see this article from www.gurl.com here.

Many people avoid talking about relationship issues in case it may draw out a few demons from the closet or even cause the other person to leave. However, if you do not communicate about the issues, then they will most likely get worse and cause more heartache further down the line.

Is he avoiding you?

If he is avoiding talking or seeing you, then this can also be a sign of his disinterest. Is he choosing to spend more time with his friends than usual or worse yet, is he disappearing and not telling you where he has been or what he has been up to? Even in a relationship, he isn’t necessarily obliged to tell you every little detail about his life and where he is going. However, if you are noticing that he has been absent for longer than usual and seems unable to account for his time or whereabouts on certain occasions, then he may be keeping some secrets.

Is there a lack of intimacy?

If he is less intimate and affectionate with you, it may again be a sign that he has a lot on his mind. However, it could also mean that he is losing interest. Again, communication is the best thing to find out what is going on with him. You may be relieved to discover that it is due to a different issue entirely and he is not planning to leave you.

What if he leaves?

If he does decide to leave then sometimes the best thing for both of you can be to have a little space apart to get your thoughts together. Sometimes, time apart can be a great healer, and he may decide to come back all on his own.

If you feel that you want him back and there is still a chance for the two of you, then you may want to look into various ways of how you can get him back into your life again.

Be sure that you find out why he left in the first place and had an honest, open discussion with him about both yours and his feelings. Again, not knowing is often the worst thing.

Go back to how you were in the beginning

Have you perhaps noticed that over time the two of you have been drifting apart, and things have just not been how they were in the beginning? If this is the case, then spend time reflecting on how you were different with him in the beginning and start making changes to get back to that way of being. After all, that is the version of you that he most likely fell in love with in the first place. Here are some tips on being more authentic in a relationship.

Summary

Throughout this article, you will notice that we keep hitting home on the issue of communication. Experts across the world state that communication is by far one of the most important values in making a successful relationship long-term. Besides this, communication is one of the keys to resolving issues as and when they arise. This is such an important point we suggest you read these tips on communication from psychologytoday.com.

Keep an eye out for the signs and try not to jump to conclusions too early about his possible intentions as this will only cause a degree of relationship anxiety to rise in you. Being anxious in a relationship is rarely helpful so do your best to guard against this.

If you are noticing that he is more distant with you, either physically or emotionally then try making a plan to spend time with him doing an activity that he really likes. Perhaps visit a favorite restaurant together or got to a place that you both enjoyed visiting together in the early days of your relationship to help revive those happy memories. However, do make sure you choose a place and an activity where the two of you can also have a chance to talk calmly and openly. There are lots more ideas you can use to help rekindle your relationship at femalesecrets.net.

The bottom line is you want to first discern if he is actually planning to leave you or if he just has a lot of things weighing heavy on his mind. If you discover he is losing interest then you want to act quickly and calmly to try to change things in your favour as soon as possible if you are wanting to stay with him. Here are some things to say to all the different excuses he may give to wanting to break up. From here you can start to plan to move forward to getting him to stay with you if you feel the relationship is worth salvaging.

How To Improve Communication With Your Boyfriend

a couple communicatingIt’s great to be in a relationship with someone you love and who loves you back. Having special moments and experiences to share with someone special is a blessing to truly treasure.

Having good communication with your partner is one of the most important ingredients in keeping a happy and healthy relationship. Without open and honest communication between the two of you, misunderstandings can easily happen, which can lead to fights and can in some cases bring about the end of the relationship.

As you can see, this is a hugely important topic, so if you feel that the communication is somewhat lacking in your relationship between you and your partner then here are some important tips that you can use to improve communication with your boyfriend and get him opening up to you in more meaningful ways. You can also find more great relationship info at http://www.asnamnat.org.

One of the biggest keys to good communications is reciprocity and openness. If you are communicative and open with your guy, then chances are he will reciprocate in kind.

Take a genuine interest in him

This first point seems simple, but it really does need to be stated for a lot of people. If you do take a genuine interest in your boyfriend and take the time to understand his likes and dislikes, what makes him happy and caring that his needs are also being met in the relationship, then he will also want to do the same for you.

When he is talking to you about something that is of interest or importance to him, take the time to genuinely listen and show your openness and eagerness to understand where he is coming from. Here is more useful information on good listening skills.

Ask him about his day

Be sure to ask him about his day, what he enjoyed the most and if there were any frustrations he had thought the day. If he seems to need help with something and it is something you can help with, offer your support and let him know you are there for him.

Ask him what is important to him about the things that are important to him

It’s great we all have hobbies and interests. It’s even better if you can have interests that you share together. However, have you ever take the time to delve a little deeper to understand exactly why your man enjoys the things he does? What is it about those activities that brings him so much joy and excitement? The same goes for his career or any aspirations that he has. This will help you to understand his values and then be more able to communicate with him in a more meaningful way.

Taking the time to discover his passion and understanding what makes him tick will not only deepen the connection between the two of you, it will also enable you to communicate with him on a deeper level. Here are some more important things to share in common from http://www.eharmony.com.

Aim to listen to him

When he is talking, be sure to listen to him. This sounds obvious, but so many people are distracted when they are having a conversation with someone. Checking your phone, looking the other way or daydreaming are not good things to be doing when your boyfriend is trying to say something to you.

a couple talking to each other

Encourage him to speak about his feelings

Encouraging him to talk about his feelings, good or bad is an excellent way to get him to be more communicative with you. If he has good experiences with you, then ask him about them.

Let him know you are there for him and that it is safe for him to open up to you.

Voice any concerns you have

Sometimes our partner may say something in total innocence, but it could be misconstrued to have another meaning. If the comment or gesture was innocent then all the more likely your partner will have no idea that you may have taken it the wrong way.

If you feel that something was said or done unpleasantly or you’re not too sure what the meaning was behind it, then always ask them for clarification. More often than not this kind of thing usually turns out to be a completely innocent misunderstanding, which could have been allowed to fester and thus cause issues in your relationship.

If you fid yourself in this situation and the two of you have separated for some silly misunderstandings then here is a great article to help you get him back.

Spice Things Up!

Another great reason for having open communication with your boyfriend is that it more easily opens him up for dirty talk. Guys love it when their lady talks dirty to them, especially in unexpected ways.

Using your voice tone, slowing down your speak and of course, selecting those naughty words that will light him on fire will all go a long way to spicing up the passion in the bedroom.

Often, women can feel a little shy when it comes to dirty talk with their boyfriend. Here is a great guide on how to talk dirty to him. Bear in mind this takes practice and confidence. Spend some time alone first rehearsing your naughty lines and seductive tones in front of the mirror. This may make you laugh, but it is a lot of fun and you will soon get the hang of it. With practice comes perfect, after all! However, the real practice will be when you actually do it for real with him. If he has any experience with this then he will also likely do it back to you, which is a huge turn on for both parties. just relax and have fun!

Summary

As you can see, there are many areas to consider when working on improving communication between you and your partner. Taking the time to understand him on a deeper level will always stand you in good stead and he will feel much more appreciated as a result.

Be sure to listen to what he is saying, not just his words but his meaning. If he seems not to listen to you as much as you would like then be honest and tell him so. He may not even realize, but once you draw it to his attention it can be something he can work on.

Ultimately, have fun with your communication and aim to create an honest, open environment where the two of you feel completely at ease to be yourselves and talk to each other from the hear.

How Can You Tell Whether He Is Right For You?

a couple on a dateAccording to many people, it is destiny that puts us together and we never actually choose our partners. Whether this is true or not, it is important to know whether the man you are in a relationship with has the potential to continue warming your heart forever.

To get a clearer picture when looking for a boyfriend, here are five tips to help you know he is right for you.

1. He Supports Your Ambitions

Support from your boyfriend is critical, and a person that loves you dearly should be capable of providing this in all situations and at all times. He should stay aware of your emotions, help to uplift you, and always pick you up whenever you are feeling down.

2. He Sparks Passion Within You

When a person inspires you to create from the heart and bring out the best in you, he is right for you. He will not distract you from or suppress your inner desires but will act as a catalyst that helps you achieve the life that you have always dreamed about.

Someone who supports your passion is certainly worth keeping if they also tick the other boxes.

3. It is Easy to Communicate with Him

You can know that he is the right one when your words towards one another are loving and kind. You will obviously have ups and downs, but if kind communication is consistently present, you have a winning formula. You also understand that you can tell him anything without fear of criticism and judgment.

Having easy and enjoyable conversations with your partner is one of the best things in a relationship that can easily go overlooked. If you can have such pleasant and meaningful times with him, then this is a huge plus point in your relationship and is something to be treasured.

4. He Genuinely Appreciates Your Affection

It is important to make all non-physical connections such as similar interests, easy communication, etc. in the right relationship. However, it was difficult to ignore the powerful energy produced when you connect physically with that special somebody. Just one touch is enough to send chills running through your body. He wants to give and receive these things consistently.

If he genuinely appreciates your affection, then he will reciprocate in kind and also want to show you the same level of care.

5. He is Loyal and Trustworthy

a romantic couple being closeLife has many negative temptations to offer, and it is hardly surprising that divorce rates and breakups are an at an all-time high. It can be hard to remain confident that your boyfriend is to be trusted, but trust is an absolute must since finding the right one requires first opening up to an even higher level of trust.

Often, you can assess a person’s level of trustworthiness over time, not by what they say but by their actions.

The Bottom Line

If you are looking for a boyfriend, you can easily tell if he is right for you by following the tips and advice provided here. Never forget that you are both human and you will, therefore, make mistakes along the way. Don’t allow such mistakes to derail a potentially incredible relationship.

How To Find A Boyfriend – Four Tips Women Should Know About

a couple talking in a corridorDoes it seem like everyone except you can find a boyfriend? If you have decided to do something about it, then good for you.

Finding someone who will make you happy doesn’t have to be complicated. Here we have outlined some useful tips to help you on your quest so following these simple pointers should help you.

What Do You Want In A Boyfriend?

There are a few questions you should ask yourself before you start looking for a boyfriend. Take some time to think about what the ideal relationship would be like for you. What kind of qualities should your partner have? Sharing some common values, goals and a similar worldview will help you build a strong and happy relationship that will last the long term. You will also need to know the signs that tell you he is the right boyfriend for you.

Don’t settle for someone who doesn’t share the values and goals that matter most to you or this could create conflict in your relationship later on. This can be avoided by firstly getting clear on what is important to you have connected with your own deeper values.

Looking Good And Feeling Good

Your appearance and your attitude matter if you want to meet men. More men will notice you and approach you if you look good and if they get the impression that you are happy and easy to talk to. This is an important point, but it can be tricky for many women as they don’t want to appear like a floozy by seeming too easily available to men. However, it isn’t about that. All that matters is that you look like a friendly, happy and approachable person and men will be far more inclined to want to approach you.

Focus on finding a look that works for you and more importantly, look for styles that make you feel good about yourself. Don’t hesitate to try new clothes, new hair or even new makeup to see what makes you feel confident.

Meeting Men

How can you meet men who are genuinely interested in pursuing a relationship? Your friends are probably going to recommend online dating or local bars. The truth is that you can meet men anywhere. In fact, it is best to approach men in a setting where you feel comfortable.

Think about joining local groups dedicated to your hobbies, attending work-related events, or socializing with your friends and their own circles.

Friends are an excellent way to meet new guys, not only because they may know someone who is just right for you, but they are also great to go out with to help you find and attract a man.

Here is a great article on the best places to meet guys.

Making The First Move

You can wait for a man to notice you and to take the first step. Or you can decide to take things into your own hands and to initiate the conversation. Coffee shops, shopping centres and gyms can all be great places to meet guys.

a woman talking to a man in a gym

Approaching a man you don’t know can be intimidating, but remind yourself that you don’t have anything to lose. They will probably be flattered that you approached them and find it refreshing that you don’t expect them to make the first move.

Don’t hesitate to strike up a conversation with someone you meet at work, at a party, while attending a local event or even while shopping!

You don’t need to come out with a chat-up line or even make it blatantly obvious that you like the guy. In fact, subtlety works better for women and will help you to feel more comfortable and confident. Simply asking a guy for the time or directions can provide enough space and encouragement for him to continue the conversation with you.

Shopping lines can also be a great place to strike up an innocuous conversation. Commenting on some of his shopping items in a matter of fact and a non-judgemental way can be a great conversation starter.

Summary

You can find an amazing boyfriend if you know what you are looking for in a man and take the decision to approach men instead of waiting for them to make the first move. Bear in mind that you do not have to be overtly obvious when approaching a guy at all. It can be as subtle as asking for the time. The main objective is to create an initial connection and allow some space for him to reciprocate the conversation. Remember that there are plenty of other ways to meet men if online dating and bars are not for you!

Hello My Readers

a woman with her boyfriendHello and thank you for your patience while I am restructuring my site. It won’t take long for me to get things up and running and bring you more interesting articles on boyfriends.

I first started to indulge in books many years ago. I found it a great escape to lose myself in the fantasy world of the heroin who inevitably becomes embroiled in a tale of love and romance with a mysterious stranger. Often leading to mystery, excitement and adventure, these books never failed to captivate me.

As we grow older, we inevitably want to find a little piece of that magic in the real world. Thus, begins the adventure of a lifetime as we seek to find the book boyfriend in real life. It can be hard as it can be for a guy to measure up to a fantasy we have in our heads from reading such griping tales of romance. Therefore, we need to also maintain a degree of flexibility in our choices while keeping in mind the core aspects that we are wanting in a man.

It may take time, but with persistency and patience, the right man will come along. Sometimes we are lucky however, and you find the man of your dreams right in front of you.

If you want some more tips on where to meet available men, please click here.

Keep searching and he will come. See below for some great tips on finding your ideal boyfriend.