5 Tips on Conquering Commitment Phobia

a couple on a beachSome people have a fairly easy time when it comes to relationships. On the other hand, some people find relationships to be so challenging, and as a result, they tend to suffer from commitment phobia, fear relationships or even become overly anxious.

Fear of commitment is a genuine concern that affects many people more so when they have to make a commitment such as moving in or becoming exclusive. It is a challenge that affects both men and women regardless of their age and sexual orientation.

If you have commitment issues or you’re in a relationship with a partner who is anxious about committing then either you or they are likely to sabotage a relationship that you initially thought was good or get in and out of a relationship after a short period of time. You are also likely to give up on a relationship due to insignificant issues or develop love interest very quickly and after some time lose it.

If the above characteristics describe you or your partner, don’t worry. In this article, you are going to gain insights on what causes commitment phobia and how to overcome it.

What is a Commitment Phobia?

Commitment phobia refers to the anxiety and fear that one experiences whenever he or she has to make a commitment to another person, particularly in a romantic relationship.

When you have commitment phobia, you are likely to avoid forming a long-term relationship with your boyfriend or girlfriend. However, during the initial stages of the relationship, you tend to be very happy because you are free and there is nothing that is holding you back.

There are some clear tell-tale signs that a person has a commitment phobia. Although this is more common with men, women too can also experience commitment phobia. Here are some critically important things you can do if your boyfriend has started to pull away from you.

Causes of Commitment Phobia

The causes of fear to commit vary from one person to another and they include:

  • Having failed relationships in the past or a history of a cheating partner
  • Witnessing the unsatisfactory relationship between your parents due to issues such as alcoholism, domestic violence, cheating, just to mention, but a few
  • Fear of been loved due to low self-esteem
  • You are afraid that your relationship will change once you get married
  • You fear the relationship will end and so you decide to end it to avoid going through the pain
  • Unmet childhood desires or childhood trauma

How to Overcome Your Fear of Commitment

It is normal to fear being hurt, and if you have been through situations that have contributed to this fear, you are not alone. In order to be able to make a change in your life and romantic relationships per se, it is important that you take certain steps that will help you resolve your commitment issues.

a man with his head in his hands worried about why he fears commitment

Work with a relationship therapist

The first step you would need to take is to find yourself a good relationship therapist who understands how people attach to each other, particularly in romantic relationships. The therapist will be able to help you gain insights on what could be hindering you from getting into or sustaining a steady, loving and healthy union.

Learn to face your fear of commitment

If you really want to conquer your fear of commitment, it is important that you learn to accept the idea of having to make a lifelong commitment even when it is not very clear what the future has in store for you. Additionally, it is important that you understand that you will never take that step of committing yourself if you keep waiting for a time when you will be free of doubts because that time will never come.

Learn to take risks

It is important that you get out of your comfort zone by deciding to take risks. If you are in a relationship with someone who appears to have all the qualities that you desire, it wouldn’t hurt to make a commitment to him or her. In the long run, you are likely to have a very rewarding relationship. So, you might want to take the risk of giving the relationship a chance.

Date someone with whom you have common values

In order to overcome the fear of commitment, it is important that you date someone with similar principles, values or standards. Getting into a relationship with someone whose values, standards or principles are significantly different is likely to increase your chances of divorce due to increased marital problems.

Take your time to know someone

It is important that you take your time to know someone by dating for at least one to two years. During this time period, you are able to understand the good and bad qualities of your partner, which helps to reduce chances of divorce.

Parting Thoughts

Many individuals have a desire to be in a stable, loving and healthy union, but they are not always able to find the kind of love that they want because they are always sabotaging and undermining their chances. Commitment phobia or commitment issues are a real issue, and it is possible to change.

All you need to do is to always keep in mind that it is possible to have a meaningful relationship with someone if only you stop worrying too much about the unknown. Do not miss out on a good relationship because of fear to commit.

Is He Thinking Of Breaking Up With You?

a couple arguingIf you’re in a long-term relationship, but you have this funny feeling that all is not quite right, then you may be wondering if a potential breakup is on the horizon.

Here are some signs to look out for if you suspect that a breakup is brewing.

How is the communication?

No one likes to feel this way, and probably the worst part of that is simply not knowing. Good communication in a relationship is one of the most important qualities you can nurture to have a healthy, well-grounded coupling with your partner. However, when the communication channels begin to break down, this could be a sign that a breakup could be around the corner. However, don’t fret, this is not always the case. Your boyfriend may just have a lot of things on his mind, which is causing him to be a little more distant with you. Regardless, keeping a good, steady flow of honest communication between the two of you is one of the most healthy things you can do.

If you want more tips on good techniques for healthy communication in your relationship then do, please see our article here. If you like what we have to say, please do leave us a comment int he comments box below. We always love to hear from our readers!

How is his manner towards you?

Does he seem more moody than usual with you or even rude? This can often be a sign that he is losing interest and could be feeling irritated in the relationship. If this is the case, then try not to rise to his off-hand attitude with you. Pick your moment when he is in a better mood and ask him openly and without judgement or anger about how he is feeling. Tell him that you have noticed that he is acting differently and encourage him to share with you how he is feeling. If you need some tips on how to handle rudeness from your boyfriend then see this article from www.gurl.com here.

Many people avoid talking about relationship issues in case it may draw out a few demons from the closet or even cause the other person to leave. However, if you do not communicate about the issues, then they will most likely get worse and cause more heartache further down the line.

Is he avoiding you?

If he is avoiding talking or seeing you, then this can also be a sign of his disinterest. Is he choosing to spend more time with his friends than usual or worse yet, is he disappearing and not telling you where he has been or what he has been up to? Even in a relationship, he isn’t necessarily obliged to tell you every little detail about his life and where he is going. However, if you are noticing that he has been absent for longer than usual and seems unable to account for his time or whereabouts on certain occasions, then he may be keeping some secrets.

Is there a lack of intimacy?

If he is less intimate and affectionate with you, it may again be a sign that he has a lot on his mind. However, it could also mean that he is losing interest. Again, communication is the best thing to find out what is going on with him. You may be relieved to discover that it is due to a different issue entirely and he is not planning to leave you.

What if he leaves?

If he does decide to leave then sometimes the best thing for both of you can be to have a little space apart to get your thoughts together. Sometimes, time apart can be a great healer, and he may decide to come back all on his own.

If you feel that you want him back and there is still a chance for the two of you, then you may want to look into various ways of how you can get him back into your life again.

Be sure that you find out why he left in the first place and had an honest, open discussion with him about both yours and his feelings. Again, not knowing is often the worst thing.

Go back to how you were in the beginning

Have you perhaps noticed that over time the two of you have been drifting apart, and things have just not been how they were in the beginning? If this is the case, then spend time reflecting on how you were different with him in the beginning and start making changes to get back to that way of being. After all, that is the version of you that he most likely fell in love with in the first place. Here are some tips on being more authentic in a relationship.

Summary

Throughout this article, you will notice that we keep hitting home on the issue of communication. Experts across the world state that communication is by far one of the most important values in making a successful relationship long-term. Besides this, communication is one of the keys to resolving issues as and when they arise. This is such an important point we suggest you read these tips on communication from psychologytoday.com.

Keep an eye out for the signs and try not to jump to conclusions too early about his possible intentions as this will only cause a degree of relationship anxiety to rise in you. Being anxious in a relationship is rarely helpful so do your best to guard against this.

If you are noticing that he is more distant with you, either physically or emotionally then try making a plan to spend time with him doing an activity that he really likes. Perhaps visit a favorite restaurant together or got to a place that you both enjoyed visiting together in the early days of your relationship to help revive those happy memories. However, do make sure you choose a place and an activity where the two of you can also have a chance to talk calmly and openly. There are lots more ideas you can use to help rekindle your relationship at femalesecrets.net.

The bottom line is you want to first discern if he is actually planning to leave you or if he just has a lot of things weighing heavy on his mind. If you discover he is losing interest then you want to act quickly and calmly to try to change things in your favour as soon as possible if you are wanting to stay with him. Here are some things to say to all the different excuses he may give to wanting to break up. From here you can start to plan to move forward to getting him to stay with you if you feel the relationship is worth salvaging.

How Can You Tell Whether He Is Right For You?

a couple on a dateAccording to many people, it is destiny that puts us together and we never actually choose our partners. Whether this is true or not, it is important to know whether the man you are in a relationship with has the potential to continue warming your heart forever.

To get a clearer picture when looking for a boyfriend, here are five tips to help you know he is right for you.

1. He Supports Your Ambitions

Support from your boyfriend is critical, and a person that loves you dearly should be capable of providing this in all situations and at all times. He should stay aware of your emotions, help to uplift you, and always pick you up whenever you are feeling down.

2. He Sparks Passion Within You

When a person inspires you to create from the heart and bring out the best in you, he is right for you. He will not distract you from or suppress your inner desires but will act as a catalyst that helps you achieve the life that you have always dreamed about.

Someone who supports your passion is certainly worth keeping if they also tick the other boxes.

3. It is Easy to Communicate with Him

You can know that he is the right one when your words towards one another are loving and kind. You will obviously have ups and downs, but if kind communication is consistently present, you have a winning formula. You also understand that you can tell him anything without fear of criticism and judgment.

Having easy and enjoyable conversations with your partner is one of the best things in a relationship that can easily go overlooked. If you can have such pleasant and meaningful times with him, then this is a huge plus point in your relationship and is something to be treasured.

4. He Genuinely Appreciates Your Affection

It is important to make all non-physical connections such as similar interests, easy communication, etc. in the right relationship. However, it was difficult to ignore the powerful energy produced when you connect physically with that special somebody. Just one touch is enough to send chills running through your body. He wants to give and receive these things consistently.

If he genuinely appreciates your affection, then he will reciprocate in kind and also want to show you the same level of care.

5. He is Loyal and Trustworthy

a romantic couple being closeLife has many negative temptations to offer, and it is hardly surprising that divorce rates and breakups are an at an all-time high. It can be hard to remain confident that your boyfriend is to be trusted, but trust is an absolute must since finding the right one requires first opening up to an even higher level of trust.

Often, you can assess a person’s level of trustworthiness over time, not by what they say but by their actions.

The Bottom Line

If you are looking for a boyfriend, you can easily tell if he is right for you by following the tips and advice provided here. Never forget that you are both human and you will, therefore, make mistakes along the way. Don’t allow such mistakes to derail a potentially incredible relationship.